Philadelphia, PA (My Sportsbook) -

TO: Tiger Woods

FROM: Golf enthusiasts

DATE: September 14, 2009

SUBJECT: PGA Tour playoffs

We are happy that you decided to compete in all four FedEx Cup playoff events this year. When the PGA Tour devised the playoff system a few years ago, one of the things they considered was how their product stands up against NFL football. Traditionally, golf was an afterthought once the football season got underway. The tour needed a gimmick to entice players like yourself and Phil Mickelson to stick around as summer turned to fall, and a four-tournament swing with a $10 million payoff at the end of the rainbow seems to have worked.

Of course, you won the first FedEx Cup two years ago despite skipping one of the tournaments. You're just that good. And last year you were hurt, so the tour's fall fortunes rested with Lefty and eventual winner Vijay Singh. Oh well. At least you gave us something to discuss while you were gone -- your broken-knee victory at the U.S. Open -- and something to obsess about in your absence -- your eventual return date. We just don't know what to do with ourselves when you're gone.

We were shocked, like everyone else, that you lost the PGA Championship to Y.E. Yang last month while trying to win your first major of the season. How weird was that? And we struggled to figure out where your putting touch went as you finished out of the winner's circle at the first two playoff events, allowing Steve Stricker to take over the points lead. Don't get us wrong. We like Steve; we always have. And we admired the way you almost came back to win The Barclays. We also enjoyed the 63 you shot last Monday at the Deutsche Bank Championship, where you tied for 11th place. You were so far back and started so early, we had to follow the round online. Still, it was fun to watch those early birdies pile up, and to think -- briefly -- about what a story it would be if you shot a 59 on Labor Day. But we were waiting for you to truly show up in these playoffs, to give us one of those Tiger Weekends that we've been spoiled by in the past.

Well, we finally got it over the weekend at the BMW Championship, and our thirst was sated. That 62 you fired on Saturday was a sight to behold. Do you even know how good it was? They've been playing that tournament since 1899 -- the McKinley Administration! -- and only you and Jim Furyk have ever shot that low. It was the Tiger Woods we enjoy most. Every hole an impossibly good shot. Laser approaches to the greens. Pin-seeking. And, thankfully, your putting stroke seemed to have regained its sturdiness. No one has ever been better than you inside five feet.

We hate to say it, but it was almost too good. It gave you a seven-shot lead entering the final round -- about five strokes more than anyone could hope to come back from. If someone was looking for a reason to turn off football and switch to golf, a Tiger Woods fist fight on Sunday would have been it. But a Tiger Woods victory march? A coronation? Eh, maybe in Week 7. But in Week 1, when most football fans have been waiting more than eight months to see their team in a regular season game? It's too much to ask. More likely, they flipped over to NBC during commercial breaks. Hopefully they caught you at the right moments.

We realize you've taken copious amounts of criticism this summer for your penchant for on-camera cursing and generally childish shenanigans. We're not sure why everyone picked this year to write about it -- after all, you've been swearing a blue streak for years -- but we mostly agree with what they've had to say. And we'll jump on the bandwagon in recommending you cool it, if not just for your own safety. Seriously, you nearly skulled yourself with your own club at Cog Hill after hitting an offline drive. How would that have looked? You bending over and clutching your head, blood dripping down your forehead? Not good.

So, please, no more club-flipping. And no more cursing. We don't need a dozen more columns criticizing you for being petulant, even if that's not what it is. And we don't need to give football fans any more reasons to tune out the Tour Championship in two weeks. We're pretty sure you're going to win. And we're trying to decide how WE would spend that $10 million prize.

How much does a 62 cost, anyway?