Philadelphia, PA (My Sportsbook) - Sometimes, when opportunity knocks, the Grim Reaper is standing on the other side of the door.
How else to describe the position in which two men - the Buccaneers' Greg Olson and Bills' Alex Van Pelt - were placed last week? With days until the 2009 regular season was set to kick off, Olson and Van Pelt were each promoted to the role of offensive coordinator on their respective teams, and you have to believe that the title was one that each man had coveted at some point in their careers.
Be careful what you wish for.
Olson, who knows something about impossible offensive coordinator situations from his time spent in the same job with the Rams (2006-07), was thrust into the architect role of a Tampa Bay offense that had been presided over since the spring by Jeff Jagodzinski. Jagodzinski was fired amid reports that he, more or less, had no idea what he was doing in regard to designing an NFL offense.
So now Olson gets to do the equivalent of building an automobile, piece by piece...in roughly a week...to race in the Indy 500. A car that, by all indications, will roughly resemble a Yugo or an Edsel on its best day.
The driver of Olson's attack will be Byron Leftwich, a man with a cannon for an arm. Unfortunately, the cannon takes forever to load, as evidenced by one of the slowest releases in the NFL's modern era. Oh, and the fastest Leftwich has ever moved was that time at Marshall when his offensive linemen were carrying him down the field. That poses a problem when you're working behind an o-line that is paper-thin, and when you're playing alongside a starting running back, Cadillac Williams, whose knees have seen more scalpels than Joan Rivers' face.
So good luck, Greg. If you succeed under these circumstances, we might as well start calling you Don Coryell.
Van Pelt, meanwhile, will have to be physically restrained on fall Sundays, as he attempts to bolt from the coaching box back to his one-time position as a Bills broadcaster.
Van Pelt replaces another former NFL clipboard holder, Turk Schonert, whose offense was apparently too complicated for head coach Dick Jauron - a Yale graduate, mind you - to comprehend. Or maybe it was Stanford alum Trent Edwards who couldn't keep a handle on what the "X" receiver does, I can't quite remember. But then, I went to La Salle.
Either way, Van Pelt is going to be dumbing things down for these Mensa candidates and the rest of the offense...which won't have No. 1 running back Marshawn Lynch for the first three games due to an NFL suspension...and who just cut their starting left tackle, Langston Walker, in favor of a 2008 seventh-rounder (Demetrius Bell) who has played in exactly the same number of meaningful NFL games as former Growing Pains star Joanna Kerns...and which will feature Terrell Owens, a guy long renowned for his ability to conduct summits on team unity, especially when things are going poorly.
Welcome to the NFL, Alex. That's not the K-Gun you're holding, it's the bayonet you'll be falling on when the Bills finish last in the AFC East again.
There is indeed a fine line between crisis and opportunity, and from where they sit in these fleeting final days of summer, Olson and Van Pelt are still accentuating the positive, searching for the light at the end of the tunnel. Unfortunately, as they could both soon discover, the light at the end of the tunnel can actually be a train coming from the other direction.
Let's take a look at the week that will be in the National Football League:
NFL POWER POLL
The My Sportsbook's updated NFL Power Poll, which ranks all 32 league teams, can be found at:
http://www.sportsnetwork.com/default.asp?c=sportsnetwork&page=nfl/misc/nfl- poll.htm
FANTASY FOCUS
Find Fantasy Editor Steve Schwarz's latest analysis at:
http://www.sportsnetwork.com/merge/tsnform.aspx?c=sportsnetwork&page= fantasy/index.aspx
SUICIDE POOL PIX
1. New Orleans (vs. Detroit) - Matthew Stafford might pile up some yards in his formal NFL debut, but he has no shot of out-dueling Drew Brees.
2. Baltimore (vs. Kansas City) - Chiefs barely troubled the scoreboard in the preseason, and just don't look ready to compete with good teams yet.
3. New England (vs. Buffalo) - Bills QBs are 0-8 at Gillette Stadium since Doug Flutie beat the Pats there in 2000.
THE GAMES
I had a fairly decent 2008 when it came to picking winners, going 166-101 (.622) in my selections, and a My Sportsbook-best 141-117-9 (.545) against the spread. My reasonably impressive record pretty much means we're in for a rough 2009, if history is any indication. So buyer beware, and enjoy!
Tennessee at Pittsburgh, Thursday, 8:30 (Pittsburgh -6)
Storylines: Steelers try to extend NFL streak of Super Bowl champions winning in Week 1 to 10 games, with the last reigning champ to lose its subsequent opener the 1998-99 Denver Broncos...Pittsburgh will try to exact revenge for 31-14 loss at Tennessee last December, a game in which Titans running back LenDale White memorably stomped on the Steelers' "Terrible Towel"...Chuck Cecil will serve as Titans defensive coordinator for the first time following the offseason defection of Jim Schwartz...Titans wide receiver, Nate Washington, who is considered questionable with a hamstring problem, played for the Steelers from 2005 through 2008...Steelers linebacker Lawrence Timmons (ankle) is questionable for Thursday...First-round draft choices Kenny Britt (Titans) and Evander Hood (Steelers) expected to make their formal debuts... Steelers allowed an NFL-low 37 points during the 2009 preseason...Steelers have won six consecutive regular season openers, and have not lost an opener at home since falling to Baltimore to begin the 2000 campaign.
Fast Fact: Titans quarterback and Penn State product Kerry Collins is 1-5 as a starter in games played in his native Pennsylvania, with his only win there coming as a member of the Giants in 2000 (at Philadelphia).
Prediction: Steelers will keep the streak alive for Super Bowl winners in Week 1, though the physical Titans will make their lives somewhat difficult. Steelers 19, Titans 14.
Miami at Atlanta, Sunday, 1:00 (Atlanta -4)
Storylines: Battle of two surprise 2008 playoff teams takes place at the Georgia Dome...Tight end Tony Gonzalez makes his regular season debut in an Atlanta uniform after spending the first 12 years his career (1997-2008) with Kansas City...Pass rusher Jason Taylor, who made six Pro Bowls and registered 117 sacks as a member of the Dolphins from 1997 through 2007, returns to the team after spending one season with the Washington Redskins...First-round draft choices Peria Jerry (Falcons) and Vontae Davis (Dolphins) expected to make their formal debuts...New Dolphins Sean Smith (2nd Round, Utah) and Gibril Wilson (ex-Raiders) both slated to start in the Miami secondary...Linebacker Mike Peterson (ex-Jaguars) among the new starters for Atlanta...Miami was one of three unbeaten teams during the 2009 NFL preseason (Ravens, Seahawks)...Falcons are 5-1 in openers since 2003, Dolphins are 1-5 in lid-lifters over the same period.
Fast Fact: The first career NFL touchdown for Falcons tight end Tony Gonzalez came on Oct. 5, 1997, in a 17-14 Chiefs loss to the Miami Dolphins.
Prediction: Neither of these teams is sneaking up on anyone this season, but Atlanta has upgraded its talent appreciably. Falcons 24, Dolphins 16.
Kansas City at Baltimore, Sunday, 1:00 (Baltimore -13)
Storylines: Todd Haley makes his debut as head coach of the Chiefs...Status of Kansas City quarterback Matt Cassel (ankle) is in question for what would be his formal debut as a Chief, and Brodie Croyle would likely replace Cassel if he can't go...Haley will also call plays for Chiefs after firing offensive coordinator Chan Gailey last week...Greg Mattison makes his debut as defensive coordinator of the Ravens after Rex Ryan defected to the Jets in the offseason...First-round draft choices Tyson Jackson (Chiefs) and Michael Oher (Ravens) expected to make their formal debuts...Baltimore wide receiver Mark Clayton (hamstring) is questionable after missing the entire preseason... Chiefs were one of three winless teams (Panthers, Cardinals) during the 2009 NFL preseason, while Ravens were one of three unbeaten teams (Dolphins, Seahawks)...Kansas City scored an NFL-worst 42 points during the preseason... Chiefs are 1-4 in last five season-openers.
Fast Fact: Including wins at Memorial Stadium over the Colts in 1979 and 1980, the Chiefs are 5-0 in Baltimore since losing there for the only time in their history, in 1975.
Prediction: The Chiefs have looked like a mess throughout the preseason, and it's hard to envision them scoring enough to challenge Baltimore. Ravens 23, Chiefs 6.
Philadelphia at Carolina, Sunday, 1:00 (Philadelphia -2)
Storylines: Carolina Pro Bowl middle linebacker Jon Beason (knee) regarded as questionable for Sunday...Sean McDermott will make formal debut as Eagles defensive coordinator following the death of longtime assistant Jim Johnson in late July...Former Colts defensive coordinator Ron Meeks makes his debut in the same capacity with the Panthers...Early-round draft choices Jeremy Maclin and LeSean McCoy expected to make their first meaningful appearances with the Eagles, as are veteran o-linemen Jason Peters (ex-Bills) and Stacy Andrews (ex-Bengals)...Panthers were one of three winless teams (Chiefs, Cardinals) during the 2009 NFL preseason...Eagles allowed an NFL-worst 120 points during the 2009 preseason...Philadelphia guard Todd Herremans (foot) will miss Sunday's game...Eagles quarterback Michael Vick will miss the team's first two games due to an ongoing NFL suspension...Carolina running back Jonathan Stewart (Achilles) considered questionable after missing the entire preseason.
Fast Fact: Panthers running back DeAngelo Williams established career single- game bests in receptions (7) and receiving yards (101) in the Panthers' 27-24 loss to the Eagles on Dec. 4, 2006.
Prediction: Eagles have a bunch of key new faces, Panthers had almost zero roster turnover. Advantage, at least in Week 1, goes to Carolina. Panthers 20, Eagles 17.
Denver at Cincinnati, Sunday, 1:00 (Cincinnati -4 1/2)
Storylines: Josh McDaniels makes his debut as head coach of the Denver Broncos...Quarterback Kyle Orton (finger) expected to make initial start at quarterback for Denver despite suffering an injury during Week 3 of the preseason...Bengals quarterback Carson Palmer slated to start after missing the final three games of the preseason with an ankle injury, and 12 of the final 13 games of 2008 with an elbow problem...Receiver Brandon Marshall returned to practice following a team suspension this week, but his playing status for Sunday is unknown...Broncos first-round running back Knowshon Moreno (ankle) considered questionable for Sunday...Bengals first-round tackle Andre Smith (foot) will not play, but second-round pick Rey Maualuga (USC) expected to appear...Pro Bowl safety Brian Dawkins makes his formal debut in a Broncos uniform after spending his first 13 seasons with the Eagles (1996-2008).
Fast Fact: None of Bengals wide receiver Chad Ocho Cinco's 26 career 100-yard games have come in Week 1.
Prediction: With all the drama surrounding the Broncos right now, it's hard to envision them going on the road and winning in Week 1. Bengals 27, Broncos 24.
Minnesota at Cleveland, Sunday, 1:00 (Minnesota -4)
Storylines: Brett Favre makes his formal debut at quarterback for the Vikings...Eric Mangini makes his debut as head coach of the Cleveland Browns...Brady Quinn expected to start at quarterback for the Browns over Derek Anderson...Vikings defensive tackles Pat Williams and Kevin Williams expected to play despite ongoing litigation regarding their four-game suspensions for use of a banned substance...Browns did not score an offensive touchdown over the final six games of the 2008 season, an NFL record...Vikings wide receiver Bernard Berrian (hamstring) considered questionable...First- round rookies Percy Harvin (Vikings) and Alex Mack (Browns) expected to make their formal debuts...Wide receiver Mike Furrey (ex-Lions), defensive end Kenyon Coleman (ex-Jets), and safety Abram Elam (ex-Jets) among the other new notables for the Browns...Cleveland is 1-9 in openers since returning to the league in 1999.
Fast Fact: If Brady Quinn starts at quarterback for Cleveland on Sunday, he will become the team's sixth different opening-day starter in the past seven seasons (Derek Anderson, Charlie Frye, Trent Dilfer, Jeff Garcia, Kelly Holcomb).
Prediction: Forget Favre, expansion-quality Browns offense won't move the ball on the Minnesota defense. Vikings 28, Browns 3.
N.Y. Jets at Houston, Sunday, 1:00 (Houston -5 1/2)
Storylines: Rex Ryan makes his debut as head coach of the Jets, while first- round rookie Mark Sanchez opens at quarterback for Gang Green for the first time...Former Pro Bowl linebacker Bart Scott (ex-Ravens), cornerback Lito Sheppard (ex-Eagles) and safety Jim Leonhard (ex-Ravens) are among the other new notables for the Jets...Houston quarterback Matt Schaub (ankle) expected to play despite suffering injury in the team's third preseason game...Texans cornerback Dunta Robinson slated to be in the lineup after holding out for the entire preseason in protest of receiving the franchise tag...Frank Bush makes his debut at defensive coordinator for the Texans...Houston first-round rookie and linebacker Brian Cushing (knee) expected to play after missing the entire preseason, and free agent defensive end Antonio Smith (ex-Cardinals) slated to be in the lineup as well...Texans were 5-1 in their final six games of 2008, while Jets were 1-4 in their final five...Jets scored an NFL-best 108 points during the 2009 preseason.
Fast Fact: The last rookie quarterback to win a start for the New York Jets was Richard Todd, who went 2-4 as a starter during the 1976 season.
Prediction: Bad first matchup for Mark Sanchez, who will see Mario Williams in his nightmares. Texans 31, Jets 10.
Jacksonville at Indianapolis, Sunday, 1:00 (Indianapolis -7 1/2)
Storylines: Jim Caldwell makes his debut as head coach of the Colts after replacing Tony Dungy in the offseason...Jacksonville running back Maurice Jones-Drew (shin) expected to play despite being injured in the team's final preseason game...Wide receiver Torry Holt will make his debut in a Jacksonville uniform after spending his first 10 seasons (1999-2008) with the Rams...First-round draft choice Donald Brown (UConn) will make his meaningful debut with the Colts, while Jaguars first-round tackle Eugene Monroe (Virginia) could appear as well...Former Browns defensive coordinator Mel Tucker makes his debut in the same capacity with the Jaguars...Colts defensive tackle Ed Johnson will be out while serving a one-game suspension for violating the NFL substance abuse policy...Jaguars are 2-5 in their last seven regular season openers...Colts are 8-2 in openers since 1999, but were 29-13 home losers to Chicago to being 2008.
Fast Fact: The Colts will be playing their first-season opener without Marvin Harrison since Sept. 3, 1995, when they were 24-21 home losers to the Cincinnati Bengals.
Prediction: Jones-Drew injury will keep Jaguars from springing the upset, but new-look Jacksonville will hang against overrated Indy. Colts 20, Jaguars 19.
Detroit at New Orleans, Sunday, 1:00 (New Orleans -13)
Storylines: Jim Schwartz makes his debut as head coach of the Lions, while No. 1 overall rookie Matthew Stafford opens at quarterback for Detroit for the first time...The Lions, the first team in NFL history to go 0-16 a year ago, have lost 17 straight dating back to a win over the Chiefs on Dec. 23, 2007...Detroit is 0-12 on the road since winning at Chicago on Oct. 28, 2007...New Orleans running back Pierre Thomas (knee) is doubtful for Sunday, but Reggie Bush (knee, calf) is expected to be in uniform...Longtime NFL defensive coordinator Gregg Williams makes his debut in that role for the Saints...In addition to Stafford, first-round draft picks Brandon Pettigrew (Lions) and Malcolm Jenkins (Saints) expected to make their debuts...New Orleans defensive linemen Charles Grant and Will Smith expected to play despite ongoing litigation regarding their four-game suspensions for use of a banned substance...John Carney will kick for Saints during four-game suspension of kicker Garrett Hartley for using a banned substance.
Fast Fact: Should they start the 2009 season 0-3, the Lions would have 20 straight losses, the second-most in NFL history behind only the 26 suffered by the 1976-77 Tampa Bay Buccaneers...
Prediction: Saints were dominant in the preseason, but it's still tough to trust that defense. Saints 28, Lions 16.
Dallas at Tampa Bay, Sunday, 1:00 (Dallas -6)
Storylines: Raheem Morris makes his debut as head coach of the Buccaneers after replacing Jon Gruden in the offseason...Former Jaguar, Falcon, and Steeler Byron Leftwich will make his formal debut as the Bucs' starting quarterback...Running back Cadillac Williams expected to start for Tampa Bay after playing in just 10 games over the past two seasons due to multiple knee injuries...Tampa Bay fired offensive coordinator Jeff Jagodzinski last week and elevated quarterbacks coach Greg Olson to the position...Cowboys will open with Roy Williams as the team's No. 1 receiver for the first time...Former Pro Bowl tight end Kellen Winslow expected to make his formal debut with Tampa Bay...Tampa Bay defensive back Tanard Jackson will begin serving a four-game suspension for violating the NFL substance abuse policy...Buccaneers finished 2008 with a four-game losing streak, while Cowboys went 1-3 in December... Buccaneers are 2-5 in their last seven regular season openers.
Fast Fact: The Cowboys are an NFC-best 33-15-1 (.684) in season-openers, and an NFL-best 31-18 (.633) in road openers.
Prediction: Buccaneers are a rudderless ship at the moment, and Leftwich is going to spend much of the day on his back. Cowboys 30, Buccaneers 9.
San Francisco at Arizona, Sunday, 4:15 (Arizona -6 1/2)
Storylines: Defending NFC champion Cardinals begin their defense of the conference title...Mike Singletary begins his first full season as 49ers head coach after guiding the team to a 5-4 record as interim head man last season...Shaun Hill, who has a 7-3 record as 49ers starter in parts of two years with the team, will start a season opener for the first time...Arizona wide receiver Anquan Boldin expected to play despite a hamstring problem... Cardinals first-round draft choice Chris "Beanie" Wells (Ohio State) expected to make his meaningful debut in the Arizona backfield, but 49ers first-round receiver Michael Crabtree (Texas Tech) remains a contract holdout...Jimmy Raye II takes over as the 49ers' new offensive coordinator...Former 49ers defensive coordinator Bill Davis makes his debut in the same role with the Cardinals...Arizona was one of three winless teams (Chiefs, Panthers) during the 2009 NFL preseason.
Fast Fact: As a player with the Chicago Bears from 1981 through 1992, current 49ers head coach Mike Singletary was 9-3 in season-openers, including nine straight wins to finish his career.
Prediction: 49ers were actually a better team than the Cardinals by last December, but the new offensive scheme might cause some problems in Week 1. Cardinals 24, 49ers 19.
Washington at N.Y. Giants, Sunday, 4:15 (N.Y. Giants -6 1/2)
Storylines: All-Pro defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth makes his formal debut as a Redskin after signing a $100 million contract during the free agency period...First-rounders Brian Orakpo (Redskins) and Hakeem Nicks (Giants) expected to make their meaningful debuts...Giants will be without linebacker Michael Boley, who is serving a one-game suspension for violating the NFL's personal conduct policy...Giants defensive tackle Chris Canty (ex-Cowboys), obtained via free agency in the offseason, is questionable with a hamstring problem, as is cornerback Aaron Ross...New Giants defensive coordinator Bill Sheridan makes his debut after taking over for the departed Steve Spagnuolo in the offseason...Ahmad Bradshaw to take over secondary rushing role after free agent defection of 1,000-yard rusher Derrick Ward...Giants pulled off a home- and-home sweep of the Redskins last season, winning by scores of 16-7 and 23-7...Hunter Smith takes over punting chores for the Redskins after playing the last 10 seasons with the Colts.
Fast Fact: The Redskins have been held to fewer than 20 points in each of their past six regular season openers, but are 4-2 over that span.
Prediction: Improved defense means they'll rarely get run off the field, but where will the points come from for Washington? Giants 16, Redskins 13.
St. Louis at Seattle, Sunday, 4:15 (Seattle -8 1/2)
Storylines: New head coaches Steve Spagnuolo (Rams) and Jim Mora (Seahawks) make their debuts with their respective teams...Marc Bulger expected to open at quarterback for the Rams despite missing the team's final three preseason games with a fractured finger...Free agent wide receiver T.J. Houshmandzadeh and first-round rookie linebacker Aaron Curry (Wake Forest) among the Seattle players slated to make their debut with the team...Recently-signed running back Edgerrin James, who ranks 11th on the NFL rushing list, has a chance to make his first appearance as a Seahawk...Rams first-round tackle Jason Smith (Baylor) expected to begin his career as a backup...Center Jason Brown (ex- Ravens) and defensive tackle Hollis Thomas (ex-Saints) among the other new Rams...Seattle offensive linemen Walter Jones (knee) and Chris Spencer (quadriceps) both out...Seahawks have won eight straight games against the Rams since losing to them three times during the 2004 season...Seattle was one of three unbeaten teams during the 2009 NFL preseason (Dolphins, Ravens)... Rams are 2-5 in their last seven openers.
Fast Fact: The Rams will be playing their first regular season opener minus the presence of both Torry Holt and Isaac Bruce since Aug. 31, 1997, when (with Bruce injured) they defeated the Saints, 38-24.
Prediction: Rams will stay in the game thanks to the ravaged state of the Seahawks, but lack the offensive punch to win the game. Seahawks 22, Rams 14.
Chicago at Green Bay, Sunday, 8:20 (Green Bay -4)
Storylines: Pro Bowl quarterback Jay Cutler, dealt to the Bears in the offseason after an acrimonious split with the Denver Broncos, makes his formal debut in a Bears uniform...Packers defensive coordinator Dom Capers and his 3-4 scheme make their first appearances for Green Bay...Green Bay first-round rookie Clay Matthews (USC) expected to appear for Packers defense, but fellow first-rounder B.J. Raji (ankle) will probably miss the contest...Head coach Lovie Smith will call defensive plays for the Bears after stripping coordinator Bob Babich of those duties during the offseason...Left tackle Orlando Pace, a seven-time Pro Bowler with the Rams over the past 12 seasons (1997-2008), makes his meaningful debut with the Bears...Chicago cornerback Charles Tillman (back) considered questionable after missing the entire preseason...Packers and Bears split a home-and-home last season, with Green Bay winning a 37-3 decision at Lambeau Field on Nov. 16th and the Bears returning the favor with a 20-17 overtime win at Soldier Field on Dec. 22nd.
Fast Fact: Chicago holds a 90-80-6 advantage in the NFL's most-played series, which dates back to the 1921 season.
Prediction: Packers offense should move at will against overrated Bears "D," and Cutler won't be able to keep up. Packers 34, Bears 24.
Buffalo at New England, Monday, 7:00 (New England -10 1/2)
Storylines: Tom Brady makes his formal return to the field for New England after missing the final 15 games of 2008 with a serious knee injury suffered against the Chiefs...Wide receiver Terrell Owens, signed after being released by the Cowboys during the offseason, expected to make his debut with the Bills despite missing the team's final four preseason games with a toe injury... Running back Fred Taylor, wide receiver Joey Galloway, and cornerback Shawn Springs among the well-known veterans slated to make their debuts with New England...Bills running back Marshawn Lynch will begin his three-game suspension for violating the NFL personal conduct policy, with Fred Jackson expected to start in his place...Patriots have an 11-game win streak over the Bills dating back to 2003, and are 8-0 in home games against Buffalo since their last such loss in 2000...Buffalo fired offensive coordinator Turk Schonert last week and elevated quarterbacks coach Alex Van Pelt to his position...First-round rookie pass rusher Aaron Maybin (Penn State) slated to make his formal debut with the Bills...Patriots are 7-0 in season-openers played at Gillette Stadium.
Fast Fact: The Bills have averaged just 8.7 points per game during their 11- game losing streak to the Pats.
Prediction: Bills have good receivers, which will matter not at all due to the state of their offensive line and running game. Patriots 24, Bills 3.
San Diego at Oakland, Monday, 10:15 (San Diego -9 1/2)
Storylines: All-Pro defensive end Richard Seymour, traded from the Patriots to the Raiders in exchange for a first-round draft choice on Sunday, not expected to be in uniform for Oakland...San Diego outside linebacker Shawne Merriman, who missed the final 15 games of last season with a knee injury, expected to play despite being accused of battery by his girlfriend last weekend... Chargers have defeated Raiders 11 straight times since losing in Oakland in 2003...Tom Cable begins his first full season as Raiders head coach after leading the team to 4-8 record while serving as interim head man in 2008... First-round rookies Darrius Heyward-Bey (Raiders) and Larry English (Chargers) slated to appear in meaningful situations for the first time...Pass rusher Greg Ellis (ex-Cowboys) among the other notable new faces for Oakland... Raiders are 0-6 in openers since defeating the Seahawks at home to open the 2002 season.
Fast Fact: During their 11-game winning streak against the Raiders, the Chargers have prevailed by double digits eight times.
Prediction: Raiders will be more competitive than usual for Tom Cable, who everyone seems to forget did a decent job last year. Chargers 21, Raiders 13.
