And they say politics makes strange bedfellows.
Football does too, and it doesn't get any stranger than the marriage of a desperate football player and an even more desperate team in Dallas.
Terrell Owens playing for Bill Parcells, Jerry Jones and the Dallas Cowboys? What's next, Jerry Rice competing in ballroom dancing on national television?
Oh, wait, that already happened, and it wasn't always pretty.
This could get a whole lot uglier.
``Get your popcorn ready because it's going to be a show,'' Owens promised Saturday.
There's little doubt about that. But don't expect this show to be long running, unless you're taken in by the new public persona Owens dragged out for the press conference with Jones announcing his signing.
In case you didn't tune in, it turns out the new TO is a team player only interested in winning. The new TO has learned from his mistakes and become a better man.
The new TO loves his new team, and apparently he really loves his new owner.
``These guys have fallen in love already,'' agent Drew Rosenhaus gushed. ``On the jet here the bond they established was moving ... moving.''
The new TO hasn't yet found a cure for cancer, but he's got three years and $25 million to work on it. That's the contract the Cowboys signed him to, beating out, if you believe Rosenhaus, six other teams for his services.
Assuming Owens can last three years, that is. He spent less than two in Philadelphia, playing in just 21 games and acting like such a moron that he was finally kicked off the team.
Among other things, Owens called his last quarterback a quitter, and implied the one before that was gay.
Forgive Drew Bledsoe if he's busy this week looking for a therapist.
``I've always been a good teammate,'' Owens insisted. ``You can't believe what you hear all the time.''
Not when it comes from Owens you can't. Just two years ago almost to the day he was talking about how excited he was to be playing with Donovan McNabb and how he thought he would fit in real nice with the Eagles.
On Saturday he sat next to Jones and talked about how excited he was to be playing with Bledsoe and how he thought he would fit in real nice with the Cowboys.
He will, until Bledsoe overthrows him a few times in the end zone.
It's bad enough that the Cowboys signed a player Dallas fans hate with a passion for defiling their beloved midfield star during a touchdown celebration while playing for the 49ers in 2000.
But, with three egos so big there's not enough 10-gallon hats in Texas to contain them, it's hard to imagine anything but an eventual bad ending to this bizarre saga.
Think things were bad in Philadelphia and San Francisco before that? Add a control-freak coach and an owner just waiting to meddle to that and the giant star could implode before Owens has a chance to properly worship it.
Even Las Vegas bookies wouldn't dare post odds on this soon-to-be dysfunctional relationship lasting more than one season.
That being said, the Cowboys didn't really have much to lose by signing Owens. The money was there with an expanded salary cap, and desperation was growing to do something after nine years without winning a playoff game.
Parcells was said to be on board, and why not? The Big Tuna figures he can handle Owens, just as Andy Reid figured he could before him, and there are only so many game-breaking wide receivers around.
Besides, this is the new TO, remember?
``I'll be a better teammate, better person, better man in life,'' he said.
That will come as good news to Jeff Garcia, who was forced to publicly defend his masculinity after Owens suggested he was gay. Maybe Owens is such a better person that he'll call Garcia and apologize.
McNabb and the Eagles also have to be happy that Owens is at peace with himself after he dragged both the quarterback and the team down with him last year. Surely, Owens will pick up the phone and make amends.
Don't expect this honeymoon to last long. Owens is too driven by ego, too consumed by himself, to let it.
Former Cowboys safety George Teague, best remembered for taking down Owens following his second celebration on the star logo, said it best earlier this week.
``You'd always be wondering about this guy's agenda, especially if things go sour,'' Teague said. ``It's always going to be in the back of your mind, what's going to happen if he only gets one ball this game? Is he going to come in at halftime throwing helmets and cussing out the offensive coordinator?''
He might, but for now the Cowboys are willing to risk it. America's team isn't what it once was, and there's merchandise to sell and a new stadium to fill.
Right now, both the Cowboys and Owens feel comfortable getting in bed together.
This, however, is a marriage destined to fail.
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Tim Dahlberg is a national sports columnist for The Associated Press. Write to him at tdahlbergap.orgCopyright © 2005 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. The information contained in the AP News report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press.
